July 15, 2018
Jealous of Love: Scenes of love envy & how to overcome it.
When one is jealous of another, it usually means that this person has feelings of anger and envy because he/she want what the other person has. Jealousy is defined as “a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one more rightfully deserves”, found on AllAboutLifeChanges.org, in its “What is Jealousy” article. Jealousy also refers to negative feelings and anger caused by fear of losing someone or something to a rival. On other hands, there is a group of individuals who carry these feelings but the reason comes from internal pain. These individuals, who feel “alone against smiling enemies”, envy because of the Love and Attention the “enemy” receives from family, friends, co-workers, followers, fans, their child, or any other relationship.
A person is jealous of another for the reason they long to have what another individual has. By watching how happy this person is to have these things, which is so appealing to the envy. The envy sees and assumes that the enemy is very happy, loved, blessed, and lucky to have these things. They assume that their “enemy” is “perfect” and it would be impossible to go after the same things or either there isn’t enough to go around. For a person to be jealous of someone who receives love and attention shows something has been missing from this person internally. Something that should have been found and accepted very early in life. Love.
A “smiling enemy” could be anyone. The envy doesn’t have to have any kind of relationship with this individual. It is a fact of watching the “enemy” and coming up with different illusions and assumptions about how this person may be feeling highly loved, favored, and accepted. And these usually are emotions that come from a broken individual. Broken, not from past “dating” kind of relationships but from relationships with whom you’d think is honest, trustworthy, and caring. Someone who is warm and gives love and affection unconditionally. Someone who is positive, unselfish, and shows empathy. The envy has missed out on all meanings of real love that should have come from mommy and daddy.
Envy or jealousy feels horrible. It makes you feel lonely and left-out. It is a feeling of hate and resentment. It feels like not having any hope and not having a reason to try. It drains you and un-motivates you to not achieve personal goals. Envy lessens your self-esteem & self-confidence. It projects a poor and negative future in relationships within family, friends, co-workers, and associates. It basically destroys the makeup of your livelihood. It sucks because all of these horrible feelings are held within the envy when no one has actually physically harmed or attacked this individual for any reason. Many times, the “enemy” doesn’t know that someone envies them. Maybe they’re too happy to notice the sadness.
What could an individual do to resolve these feelings?
Talk about it!
One solution is to discuss these feelings with another trusted individual. Someone who is well known or acquainted, like a sister/brother, cousin, aunt, or grandparent. Take into consideration of those who are willing to help. To receive info from trusted and known individuals could help ease these feelings. The envy could even learn new things about themselves that they could begin to love. Hearing about other’s experiences, especially if they’re similar, is also helpful. This shows that the envy, in fact, isn’t alone.
The next solution is to work on improving self-confidence and self-esteem. Learn about self. Write down things of interests, desires, and needs. Focus on just those and make a plan. Write down the steps it will take to reach these desires or goals. Make a daily To-Do list and focus on each goal, one-by-one.
Next solution, Get out! Check Eventbrite or Facebook’s event section and find local happenings like networking events, parties, shows, classes, etc. Get involved with self by including the world, surrounding self with like-minded people, that have similar goals and talents. It is best to attend events or gatherings that bring meaning to one’s goal(s).
The last solution is to ask for help from a therapist, mentor, manager, professor, or any other superior trustworthy individual. Help is also found in groups and forums listed on Facebook, MeetUp, or other social sites for free. A mentor may charge a fee but it wouldn’t hurt to utilize him/her if it should motivate an individual to work on improving their well-being. There are active groups present today including members who have a drive and passion to help others succeed in life. There are so many coaches who are hunting down individuals who are seeking guidance in life overall. We all should take advantage of this. We all need advice at times.