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I was desperate to have you.  You were the image of the guy in my fantasy.  You smelled so damn nice.  Your clothes were clean, fresh, and ironed.  Your shoes were clean and handsome-like.  You were my biggest turn on.  The way you held me and looked me in my eyes during deep conversations appealed me.  Kissing me like fine couples in love movies.  And your sex has weakened me.  I’ve been fantasizing about this for years knowing I could never receive it.  At the moments of you pleasing me physically ended the dreams and fantasies.  

So much time has past and i’m satisfied but I’m doubtful.  I’m not sure what can push those feelings out so that I could love what’s loving me.  So that I can enjoy and learn all the passionate ways with you. You’re steadily giving me pleasure in hopes it would bring me out of it. I don’t back down knowing that it is something I’ve always dreamt for.  But we could never grow and we would never come close although it seems so.   

Loving me continuously, no matter how hard it hurts.  Not wanting to give up.  We temporarily solve things with sexual pleasures.  And it’s always pleasing.  Just wishing to feel the enjoyment throughout the years.  It’s not possible.  Something within me is blocked.  A feeling of you rejecting growth.  I only understand the goods of me when we pleasure each other sexually.  What about the rest of me?  

Oh yea, I was desperate to have you.  

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